“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
I loved my mother-in-law…but. I still had the ump in my heart when I remembered her. I had forgiven her hundreds of times but still the ump would arise and the feeling in my soul was not good—was not freedom—was not forgiveness.
What did she do? Well, it wasn’t anything big…nothing heart wrenching…just little things that made me feel small. Little things that made me doubt my mothering skills, my wifely role, my worth and value.
Several months ago, the Lord and I were having a lovely time talking until…until He asked, “What about your mother-in-law, Margie? How long has she been dead?” I felt the familiar ump in my heart. The Lord continued. “Now, Margie, don’t you think it’s about time you were free of these tired old feelings? How long since she died?”
I lifted up my head and smiled, “Well…in February of 1999 and it is now January, 2013. Thirteen years! I’m ready, Lord!” I looked out my window as dawn was breaking and knew that it was only His love…His life that could release me from bondage and change my heart.
“Lord, would you please give me your love for my mom? Would you please let me see her the way you do? I want to be free from Satan’s grip. ”
He did it
In the blink of an eye I saw a woman who was jilted in love—a woman who longed for the tender touch of a man—a woman, whose heart song never found its home. And I hurt for her…grieved for her…felt only the compassion of God for her.
My heart broke open and overflowed as a fountain pouring out His love—His forgiveness—and I laughed. I laughed until the tears fell. I cried tears of joy, and laughter rolled over me because I had tasted the richness of God’s unfathomable love. I was free!
I am still free. It is only the power of a mighty God who can redeem and rescue us from the mediocrities of a low life…a life bound with chains.
At last I asked the Lord, “Why was that so easy? I didn’t fast and pray for forty days. I didn’t cast out any demons. I did nothing.”
And then I heard the sweet voice I have come to love so much.
“Oh, Margie you surrendered. That’s all. You just surrendered.”